Asdquefty’s Journal

I’ve been out of ideas on what to write about, as you can see in the way I haven’t been posting as much, so I figured I’d start keeping a log so that something would be here, and also so that I can list what happens during each day and prove to myself that positive stuff does happen, however much I seem to miss or discount it. Maybe this can give me some perspective.

The first thing that happened today was a call from a friend, who was at the local Future Shop and buying a laptop. He knew what laptop he wanted to get, but the sales people were trying to get him to buy services he didn’t need and didn’t know anything about the laptops they carried either, trying to pressure him into buying a more-expensive and less-capable laptop. (Anyone who knows anything about electronics isn’t working at an electronics store because they’re capable of doing more technical work such as programming, engineering, or computer repairs. The good computer repair people start their own shops because there’s more money in that then working for a chain.) Anyway. so he called me then had lunch as I was taking the bus to the mall to join him. He bought me a sub, then after we ate we went back to the store where I simply said no to all the stuff the sales guy was pushing. The sales guy didn’t really push anything on me, I guess my friend had told him my background and he knew he wasn’t going to win, and so there wasn’t much of a problem.

After that we ran a few errands then we unpacked the laptop and set it up, entering settings, removing all the junkware including MS Works and Norton Antivirus trial, then I set him up with AVG antivirus (which is free and offers free updates) and created the restore discs for him. It took me a good three hours, but he saved some money because Future Shop wanted $200 to do the same thing. Future Shop is always coming up with new ways to try and grab people money, and they lie to push these new services which are completely unnecessary. All new computers sold in stores come with complete and detailed instructions on how to setup and configure the computer.

After that, I decided to play some Rock Band but it was too noisy, so I had some supper and took the bus to the public library which was closed.

Good events:
1. Saved my friend some money by helping him navigate the minefield of commission sales and setting his computer up for free. (Major)
2. Got exercise of at least 2 kilometers walking, maybe 3 kilometers. (Minor)

Bad events:
1. Couldn’t play Rock Band. (Minor)
2. Library was closed. (Minor)

The balance of events today was positive, with one major positive event and no major negative events.

I signed up for Sezwho, because it seemed like a good idea.

The thing is, it’s not picking up any comments I make because my email isn’t attached to the majority of the comments I make as Blogger doesn’t allow me to enter an email when I use the name/url option for entering a comment.

Note: If you haven’t enabled name/url comments, I’m not able to comment on your blog and others who are using independantly-hosted Wordpress aren’t able to comment either.

I’m annoyed with Sezwho because their FAQ is rather poor, pretty much in line with the rest of their site, and the only support option is a forum. A forum is a rather poor support option, as I have to sign up again to even ask a question and it’s too much of a hoop to jump through. Where’s the option to send an email or support request, I have no idea? Guys, it’s time to get your support and documentation act together.

I remember during Grade 12, particularly the last half, I was feeling pretty out of sync with others, sick of beinng in high school, sick of dealing with the other students and their daily talk and lives. I got tired of trying to sort through all of it and gave up. I didn’t have much to say to the other students and I often had severely depressed moods while at school and most often on my lunch break, including one week of moods at the level of major depression, where I’d just stare at the wall and if anyone talked to me I’d simply go on about how useless life seemed, and they would just leave me alone. It was even noticeable during a few of my work shifts, and my way of coping was to start shifts with either a huge coffee or an energy drink. Work was stressful, but it gave me relief from the depression once I got going into a shift.

Anyway, I don’t mean to stay in the past forever, I just wanted to bring up some important points about how people responded. First, the other students who noticed left me alone. Leaving a depressed person alone makes it worse, and it’s best not to take the chance with someone who is depressed. Do what you can to get them help.

The other issue, more importantly, is with the guidance department at my high school. I asked a guidance “counsellor” about getting help, counselling, assessment, or just a pointer on where to go, and the response was simply inadequate. They had no idea how to help, or even where to send me. Ignorance on mental health is dangerous, and at the very least the guidance department should be able to get a student started down the mental health path if necessary. Honestly, every teacher at a high school should be required to know the signs of mental illness, learning disability, or development disorder and be able to refer a student to the appropriate agency. I have strong feelings of being failed by the educational system, as nobody looked into why I wasn’t performing up to my abilities and later, nobody caught the problems i was having with depression. If they had taked a glance at my marks over the years, they would have seen a decline in my marks. It was odd seeing how teachers would occasionally comment on my high level of ability. There is a very real need for change in the education system.

Note: People with Asperger’s often dislike displaying or talking about emotions, public displays of affection, people not saying what they mean, teasing, gossip, and the drama that some people always seem to have going on around them. All of these were certainly true for me. I was not diagnosed with AS at this time, so I didn’t know why I was different and having problems.

I’ve been rather busy the last week, only really getting to relax today. I had a test for the accounting course I was taking, which went well, but the studying took quite a bit of time, and I fixed a computer for someone.

I decided to get into something new because I’m beginning to realize that I have nothing to do and the boredom isn’t helping my keep my mind in a good place, so I went and bought Battlefield: Bad Company for Xbox 360 and I’ve been playing it since last night.

It’s a good game. It’s a bit frustrating at times, but it’s a more lighthearted game and it’s fun. The main point the game has going is that almost everything can be destroyed, which makes the game more challenging and gets you away from relying on cover, simply because you can’t trust the cover to last. It also adds a more chaotic feel to the game because you have to keep moving. There are times when you have to wander around aimlessly trying to find the item you need which is really annoying. Overall, it’s a great game, and really changes the way you play. I give it an A, and you should get a copy if you have an Xbox 360.

The most common description of Asperger’s is based around three main items: social difficulty, communication differences, and repetitive routines/special interests.

While those are part AS, there’s a lot more that is present in someone with AS:

• Lack of desire to socialize
• Problems with identifying, expressing, and controlling emotions
• Lack of motivation and procrastination
• Problems with attention
• Impulsiveness and impatience
• Black and white thinking
• Sensory sensitivity

There’s more then that but those are the important ones. If you know or work with someone who has Asperger’s I recommend Tony Attwood’s Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome.

Asperger’s can and often does present alongside other other disorders including ADHD, learning disabilities, bipolar disorder and epilepsy. People with Asperger’s are a lot more prone to developing depression or anxiety disorders.

Finally, Asperger’s can appear in a way that looks like a number of other disorders, especially in adults. It can be misdiagnosed as any of the following:

1. Avoidant Personality DIsorder
2. Borderline Personality Disorder
3. Bipolar Disorder
4. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
5. Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
6. Schizophrenia
7. Schizoid Personality Disorder

I’m going to discuss how each might be applied to someone with AS.

1. Avoidant Personality Disorder

People with AS have a reduced desire to be social and may fit some or all of the profile for this disorder as part of having Asperger’s. This is just part of the personality that is present in a lot of people with Asperger’s.

2. Borderline Personality Disorder.

The main thing they share is a inability to regulate emotions and the tendency towards black and white thinking, which is a big part of how Asperger’s presents in some adults. The main thing to remember is that the core feature behind them is different. The best way to differentiate would be to assess what causes the mood swings. In Asperger’s they tend to arise from changes in routine, a lack of routine, or an inability to handle criticism whereas the mood issues of BPD seem to stem from a fear of abandonment and a need to preserve their self image.

3. Bipolar disorder.

Again, this comes down to mood swings and changes in mood. Be careful with this one, as bipolar and Asperger’s sometimes occur together. In general, bipolar mood swings will occur with little if any identifiable triggers while AS mood swings (where bipolar isn’t present) tend to be an exaggerated and uncontrolled response to some event and are almost always a change to a depressed or anxious mood. Asperger’s people have mood swings, but usually don’t get manic unless they also have bipolar disorder.

4. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

This looks similar to AS because both involve compulsions. The main thing that differentiates the two is that people with OCD find the rituals distressing while those with AS take comfort in rituals, routines, and having structure to their life. OCD can also co-occur with Asperger’s syndrome.

5. Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder

People with AS and OCPD are both perfectionist, get anxious when things aren’t in order or being done the way they think they should, and have a fear of making mistakes. The main way to tell these apart is to look for the other parts of AS I’ve listed above. Someone who is just OCPD won’t have most of the features of AS.

6. Schizophrenia

This is mostly from the past, before AS was defined. Since they didn’t have the AS category, the people that presented with AS symptoms looked like negative-symptom-only schizophrenia and were given the diagnosis of atypical schizophrenia to reflect the fact they had no psychotic episodes.

7. Schizoid Personality Disorder

This is pretty much a different name for AS (Attwood 2007). The only real difference is that it describes a person who is severely intoverted, and “schizoid” is more stigmatizing because of the association with the schizophrenia spectrum.